how much do you know about yourself if you haven't been in a fight?
-- tyler durden
on with good news...
since tuesday, i have been able to finally get six to eight hours of uninterrupted, dreamless sleep.
no, no, i'm not on sonata or ambien or any of those prescription drugs that a lot of women my age are popping nowadays to get to lala land.... the doctor suggested a couple of other things that i try before overdosing myself with sleeping pills.
-- tyler durden
on with good news...
since tuesday, i have been able to finally get six to eight hours of uninterrupted, dreamless sleep.
no, no, i'm not on sonata or ambien or any of those prescription drugs that a lot of women my age are popping nowadays to get to lala land.... the doctor suggested a couple of other things that i try before overdosing myself with sleeping pills.
so last weekend, i bought new pillows. i went around asking the friendly pillow ladies at our home how this brand differs from this brand, the standard softenss/firmness/ thickness/ thinness, where is it made, where the cotton filling comes from, what is it with the pillows that made them dust mite proof, you know, those annoying queries that make some people to just opt for a job in war torn territories than get into a job in sales.
i also changed my room air freshner from citrus and green tea to lavander.
umm.... i got bad news though...
i got to sleep eight hours tuesday night to wednesday morning because i got too tired.
errr.. no, no... beaten to a pulp is more like it.
a week prior to tuesday, july 10, i was informed that i am up for final interview at this institution that i've always regarded with high esteem. i've already had three interviews and an exam the other month with this agency.
being the cocky, know-it-all that i am, i was confident that after the interview, i would be looking for a condo in salcedo, because i do not want to be late on my first day of work in that office.
okay, i wasn't really that yabang. i knew i had to prepare for that formal, part of the hiring procedure Q&A. .
i spent a total of three nights doing dress rehearsals for that interview. i even went to zara and bought a blouse that i think was totally necessary to complete my alpha female look. what's an alpha female? check the january issue of marie claire USA. okay, okay, i'll talk about it next time.
so, at exactly 10AM, july 10, i, together with my swagger and my arrogance, marched into that office to finish the final hurdle.
it was almost 11AM when the girl, who came before me came out of the boss's office. i wanted to ask what took her so long, but i was excited to get my interview done and over with and be finally offered the post and the whopping salary.
as the boss and i exchanged introductions and pleasantries, i had the impression that the interview will be a walk in the park. i mean, hell, she was wearing baby pink and she didn't have wrinkles, so most likely, she won't give me a hard time.
until she fired away.
"define fiscal policy. what is the country's fiscal policy--describe it-- what do you think about it?"
beads of sweat started to form on my broad forehead.
"how is fiscal policy different from economic and monetary policy? what is the country's debt policy?"
i was squeezing information from my three brain cells. only two were there-- the other one was wise enough to go on sabbatical. my shallow answers were punctuated with "ummm".. "i mean".. "i think".."you know."
"tell me about the MDGs. is it a new development strategy? what are the development strategies? do you think the philippines should even bother with the MDGs when we already have the MTPDP?"
i started praying for a tsunami to come and swallow the whole manila bay. i thought, at least, i would have more chance of survival in a tsunami than getting out of this interview in one piece.
"define contingent liabilities. why do you say that the government is not managing the contingent liabilities well. what danger does it pose?"
i looked at the door and wished that ashton kutcher and his entire crew would barge in and tell me that i was punk'd.
"talk to me about rights based approach? what can you say about it? do we have to adopt it really?"
optimus prime, autobots-- i think this is the time for you to transform and roll out.
"when you talk of balanced budget, what do you mean? what is the formula in computing deficit? what are the factors to consider in public budgeting?"
at that moment, 40% of me have already dissociated. and i was thinking, this is suppose to be an interview. like, the interview movie. easy, fun, glamorous.
but no, the interview, that supposed final job interview turned out to be fight club.
raw. bloody. dark.
and my flat ass was kicked and i was beaten like i've never been kicked or beaten in my entire life.
the grilling lasted 55 minutes. i was one fourth alive by the time it ended. the boss shook my hand again and thanked me. i told her "that was tough." and she said, "was it?"
i wanted to answer, "yes, now if you could just put a gun barrel between my teeth and paint your carpet with my brain. because really, i don't think i can live the rest of my life faced with a very bleak future in public finance and development work and with the constant threat of my university taking back my master's degree and my former office demanding a refund of my salary after my shameful performance."
paint your carpet with my brain
i also changed my room air freshner from citrus and green tea to lavander.
umm.... i got bad news though...
i got to sleep eight hours tuesday night to wednesday morning because i got too tired.
errr.. no, no... beaten to a pulp is more like it.
a week prior to tuesday, july 10, i was informed that i am up for final interview at this institution that i've always regarded with high esteem. i've already had three interviews and an exam the other month with this agency.
being the cocky, know-it-all that i am, i was confident that after the interview, i would be looking for a condo in salcedo, because i do not want to be late on my first day of work in that office.
okay, i wasn't really that yabang. i knew i had to prepare for that formal, part of the hiring procedure Q&A. .
i spent a total of three nights doing dress rehearsals for that interview. i even went to zara and bought a blouse that i think was totally necessary to complete my alpha female look. what's an alpha female? check the january issue of marie claire USA. okay, okay, i'll talk about it next time.
so, at exactly 10AM, july 10, i, together with my swagger and my arrogance, marched into that office to finish the final hurdle.
it was almost 11AM when the girl, who came before me came out of the boss's office. i wanted to ask what took her so long, but i was excited to get my interview done and over with and be finally offered the post and the whopping salary.
as the boss and i exchanged introductions and pleasantries, i had the impression that the interview will be a walk in the park. i mean, hell, she was wearing baby pink and she didn't have wrinkles, so most likely, she won't give me a hard time.
until she fired away.
"define fiscal policy. what is the country's fiscal policy--describe it-- what do you think about it?"
beads of sweat started to form on my broad forehead.
"how is fiscal policy different from economic and monetary policy? what is the country's debt policy?"
i was squeezing information from my three brain cells. only two were there-- the other one was wise enough to go on sabbatical. my shallow answers were punctuated with "ummm".. "i mean".. "i think".."you know."
"tell me about the MDGs. is it a new development strategy? what are the development strategies? do you think the philippines should even bother with the MDGs when we already have the MTPDP?"
i started praying for a tsunami to come and swallow the whole manila bay. i thought, at least, i would have more chance of survival in a tsunami than getting out of this interview in one piece.
"define contingent liabilities. why do you say that the government is not managing the contingent liabilities well. what danger does it pose?"
i looked at the door and wished that ashton kutcher and his entire crew would barge in and tell me that i was punk'd.
"talk to me about rights based approach? what can you say about it? do we have to adopt it really?"
optimus prime, autobots-- i think this is the time for you to transform and roll out.
"when you talk of balanced budget, what do you mean? what is the formula in computing deficit? what are the factors to consider in public budgeting?"
at that moment, 40% of me have already dissociated. and i was thinking, this is suppose to be an interview. like, the interview movie. easy, fun, glamorous.
but no, the interview, that supposed final job interview turned out to be fight club.
raw. bloody. dark.
and my flat ass was kicked and i was beaten like i've never been kicked or beaten in my entire life.
the grilling lasted 55 minutes. i was one fourth alive by the time it ended. the boss shook my hand again and thanked me. i told her "that was tough." and she said, "was it?"
i wanted to answer, "yes, now if you could just put a gun barrel between my teeth and paint your carpet with my brain. because really, i don't think i can live the rest of my life faced with a very bleak future in public finance and development work and with the constant threat of my university taking back my master's degree and my former office demanding a refund of my salary after my shameful performance."
paint your carpet with my brainof course i didn't say that. i just smiled and hoped that she'll be stricken with amnesia as i walked back to the receiving hall, my guts between my shaking knees.
i probably looked traumatized that maya, one of my co-applicants expressed concern and asked if i was okay. for a while i couldn't speak. i wanted to tell her: "call oprah, call dr. phil., call my psycho therapist, pronto!"
she tried to talk to me, to see if i was still alive. her next question almost made me jump off my seat. "so, kailan n'yo balak magpakasal?"
okay, okay, i swear, i didn't tell her that i am with someone. i don't know why she asked that question which i answered with: "umm....baka next year..."
as if...
hmmm... i wonder if my dude would still hold my hand if he was in the room with me during the interview. i also wonder what my teacher in public finance would say. i mean, the words pathetic, shameful, scandalous, insult to the boss's intelligence are understatements to describe my performance. i mean it was realllllyyyy baad that if i had a pet and it was with me, it would opt to be thrown in the dog pound than have me as its owner. seriously. and if monster in law finds out, she might go, "she sucks na nga at cooking, she screwed pa her interview."
i probably looked traumatized that maya, one of my co-applicants expressed concern and asked if i was okay. for a while i couldn't speak. i wanted to tell her: "call oprah, call dr. phil., call my psycho therapist, pronto!"
she tried to talk to me, to see if i was still alive. her next question almost made me jump off my seat. "so, kailan n'yo balak magpakasal?"
okay, okay, i swear, i didn't tell her that i am with someone. i don't know why she asked that question which i answered with: "umm....baka next year..."
as if...
hmmm... i wonder if my dude would still hold my hand if he was in the room with me during the interview. i also wonder what my teacher in public finance would say. i mean, the words pathetic, shameful, scandalous, insult to the boss's intelligence are understatements to describe my performance. i mean it was realllllyyyy baad that if i had a pet and it was with me, it would opt to be thrown in the dog pound than have me as its owner. seriously. and if monster in law finds out, she might go, "she sucks na nga at cooking, she screwed pa her interview."
***
i went to the mall after the interview. oh yeah, i am very predictable no? i wanted to raid the shops for something that would cheer me up. but when i got to the boutiques, i was too distraught to even believe in retail therapy. and besides, i've done all the shopping that i needed for the week.
so i went home.
the moment, i got to my room, i started crying. i cried like the reversal of the adverse effects of climate change depended on it.
seriously, eversince i got into this what should i call this part of my life? the-books-of-job-and-lamentations moments, this turbulence that i've been having since april, i thought i've already crashed. but i crash some more, i crash again and it is always worse than the previous.
so there i was, clutching, drenching with tears and snot my new, hypoallergenic, dust mite proof, of USA material pillow. all right, i was also eating a large toblerone bar. i need endorphins, endorphins make you happy, you know.
the crying wore me out, that by 10PM, i was sleeping like a baby.
i went to the mall after the interview. oh yeah, i am very predictable no? i wanted to raid the shops for something that would cheer me up. but when i got to the boutiques, i was too distraught to even believe in retail therapy. and besides, i've done all the shopping that i needed for the week.
so i went home.
the moment, i got to my room, i started crying. i cried like the reversal of the adverse effects of climate change depended on it.
seriously, eversince i got into this what should i call this part of my life? the-books-of-job-and-lamentations moments, this turbulence that i've been having since april, i thought i've already crashed. but i crash some more, i crash again and it is always worse than the previous.
so there i was, clutching, drenching with tears and snot my new, hypoallergenic, dust mite proof, of USA material pillow. all right, i was also eating a large toblerone bar. i need endorphins, endorphins make you happy, you know.
the crying wore me out, that by 10PM, i was sleeping like a baby.
***
when i woke up at 630AM, my eyes hurt. but i surprisingly felt kinda well.
so well that i was able to gather my thoughts and figure out what the hell happened yesterday.
then i remembered.
so far, i've already had two jobs. my first job interview was for my internship. in preparation, i remember reading books on how to ace job interviews. the HR head and i ended up laughing and chatting about the people we know in UP (all right, gossiping). at my first paid job, the interview was informal. the boss asked what my course is and i said "journ po." and he said, "loren legarda ka pala." and he turned me over to my immediate superior who convinced me to work for their office. at my second job, i didn't have to be interviewed at all. at my current teaching stint, i didn't have to be interviewed also.
that interview last tuesday was my first real interview for the job. if real interviews go that way.
now you know why i dread meeting monster-in-law for the first time. because i am not used to being grilled/ roasted/ skinned alive. moreso, i am not used to selling myself. i'm a take it or leave it deal.
yeah yeah, that's ironic considering that i love being spin meister. but i do it for other people, for a cause. never for myself.
and yeah, okay i'll come clean. aside from my cluelessness when it comes to real interviews- i didn't study well. okay okay, i didn't study at all.
now shoot me in the head.
"interviews are undergone by unprepared fools like me, but only God, can make tree."
so well that i was able to gather my thoughts and figure out what the hell happened yesterday.
then i remembered.
so far, i've already had two jobs. my first job interview was for my internship. in preparation, i remember reading books on how to ace job interviews. the HR head and i ended up laughing and chatting about the people we know in UP (all right, gossiping). at my first paid job, the interview was informal. the boss asked what my course is and i said "journ po." and he said, "loren legarda ka pala." and he turned me over to my immediate superior who convinced me to work for their office. at my second job, i didn't have to be interviewed at all. at my current teaching stint, i didn't have to be interviewed also.
that interview last tuesday was my first real interview for the job. if real interviews go that way.
now you know why i dread meeting monster-in-law for the first time. because i am not used to being grilled/ roasted/ skinned alive. moreso, i am not used to selling myself. i'm a take it or leave it deal.
yeah yeah, that's ironic considering that i love being spin meister. but i do it for other people, for a cause. never for myself.
and yeah, okay i'll come clean. aside from my cluelessness when it comes to real interviews- i didn't study well. okay okay, i didn't study at all.
now shoot me in the head.
"interviews are undergone by unprepared fools like me, but only God, can make tree."
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