After I posted my bright and shiny entry, it suddenly felt like October 2006 all over again. You know, friends have been sending those lovely emails, text jokes and are visiting me in my soon-to-be- former office. Thank you for keeping me sane while I am suspended in limbo. (Oh gad, I feel like Ralph Recto delivering his "To be Right than Popular" farewell speech.)
But you know what will really cheer me up? A Sony Vaiao. For free.
VAIAO SZ160P/C Laptop
Dressed in a carbon fiber casing this epitome of portability is powered by 1.83GHz Intel Core Duo processor the notebook is embedded with WiFi, camera, hybrid graphics system, 1GB DDR RAM, a 100GB Serial ATA Hard Disk Drive, DVD Burner and a 13.3 wide screen display with XBRITE Technology. SonyStyle.com is selling it for $2,499.99.
Oh, the the power of hormones:
I'm not so sure though if a Sony Vaiao will be enough to curb my bitch reflex at this time of the month when my progesterone is on overdrive. I mean, I really tried to be bright and shiny when I was with my friend last night. But the bloating, the giant zit on my nose and the lack of sleep got the better of me.
So here goes this month's PMS moment.
Friend: You’re contract is ending this month right?
G.H.: Yeah, man.
Friend: So what happens? Where will you go after?
G.H. the humbled job hunter: I have applications here and there.
Friend: Shouldn’t you be up for renewal?
G.H. the brewing tempest: I wouldn’t want to be renewed. The terms are not as good anymore and well, I’ve suffered enough working with some people.
Friend: That bad? Basta don’t burn bridges. As they say, you might need to retreat to those in the future.
G.H. the writer for a B-movie: Of course I won’t burn bridges. It’s the people I will burn. Tie them on a stake and burn them. Oh wait, I’ll have them skinned alive first. The way the Russians did during the Ruso-Chino war. Or, treat them like hazardous waste—bury them 100 feet underground, alive. So that if I need to retreat to the bridges, they won’t be there anymore.
Friend: Haha. I can call a couple of my batchmates to help you out.
G.H. the calm before the storm: (silence)
Friend: If you want to be at the _______, I’ll call _______. Of course I can also talk to his dad who is also a brod.
G.H. the hallucinating dreamer: No. I think my credentials and my experience and yeah—the picture that I gave are enough to get me a job.
Friend: I’m trying to help.
G.H. the bomb dropped at Hiroshima: (hands on hips) What is it with you fratboys that you underestimate me
all the time? I mean, seriously? Am I that dumb? That shallow? Do you think I cannot get a job without your intervention?
Friend: (scratches his head) Umm… no, that’s not what I mean.
G.H. in high havaianas: (walks out)
Had I not been PMS-ing, the preceding conversation would’ve gone this way:
Friend: You’re contract is ending this month right?
G.H.: Yeah, man.
Friend: So what happens? Where will you go after?
G.H. the humbled job hunter: I have applications here and there.
Friend: Shouldn’t you be up for renewal?
G.H. the philosopher : Ay, no na. I know naman when the battle is over.
Friend: Basta don’t burn bridges. As they say, you might need to retreat to those in the future.
G.H. the saint: Of course I won’t burn bridges. I will be in the governance business and it is very likely that I will be bumping into these people again. It’s pointless to get mad—despite the suffering that they caused. Blessed are the oppressed, for karma is just around the corner.
Friend: Haha. I can call a couple of my batchmates to help you out.
G.H. the excited puppy: Ah really. Wait, who are your other batchmates ba? Introduce me naman.
Friend: If you want to be at the _______, I’ll call _______. Of course I can also talk to his dad who is also a brod.
G.H. the dreamer: Can you ask his dad to appoint me as Asec for ______? Or division chief for a GOCC?
Friend: Haha. Sige, we’ll come up with something for you
G.H. pushing it too far: So I’ll hear from you next week ha? Naku, pag hindi mo ako nahanapan ng job, saýo ako hihingi ng sweldo. Oy, the salary should not be lower than 25k given my credentials. I am not a dumb dirtbag naman di ba? I mean, I can dance sexy back on burning coals, do an impression of Anabelle Rama and run in stilettos among others.
Friend: I know.
G.H. the grateful damsel in distress: (gives friend a bear hug) Dude ha. Sobrang thank you for the help.
****
Dude, SORRY.... really.
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